um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
