i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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