Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
