operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
