and you said cock pushups were impossible
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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