I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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