We're like a lot better than the average bears
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
