I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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