I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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