Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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