ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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