It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
