afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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