Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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