We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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