Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
