I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
