Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
