operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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