He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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