I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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