I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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