I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
