What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
