Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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