Farmville is her only friend.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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