SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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