hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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