Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want to make out with him forever
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize