i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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