I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
