Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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