So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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