I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize