Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
