Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
