I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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