the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize