ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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