She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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