That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
