for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
