he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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