just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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