Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
not ubering you a puppy
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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