Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
