I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
