HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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