We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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