so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
