I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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