Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
