They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
