You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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