Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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