My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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