shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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