She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
