Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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